I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
