i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
