you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
