i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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