I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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