the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
