Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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