im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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