You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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