Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
