I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
