the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
