but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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