I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
