Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
