you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
