it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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