It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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