I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
