Four minutes until I can fart!
only you would photoshop your dick
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
