Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
