You're so nebulous sometimes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
