TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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