My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
