I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
