Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
how drunk are you?
Several
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
