he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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