careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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