I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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