I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
