24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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