If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
