I cockslap morals
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
