She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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