You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
