I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
