So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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