No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
