I hate your face
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
