I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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