I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
