we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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