I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
