I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
