just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
