How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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