I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
