you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i think my cat just said my name.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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