All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
