I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Randomize
