now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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