yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I would fuck him just for his dog
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
